This Dusty Little Closet
by sweetestmisery19
Summary: A little snippet of what might happen if Alice and the Mad Hatter were locked in a closet together. Heavily WCMI-Inspired.


This little story is kind of like an experiment for me. I was actually in the process of writing a completely different story when I was hit by a severe case of writer's block. After minutes and minutes of agony, I decided to take my mind off that particular story and go looking around on deviantart. I stumbled across a little meme done by the one and only bri-chan that depicted what might happen if Alice and Reginald ever got locked in a room together, and guess what? Inspiration suddenly struck! I just had to write something about those two trapped together in a tiny space. Sure, it's not inspiration for the other story, but at least I was writing something. It's just supposed to be a little snippet, but I did write about three more pages. I may post them later...I don't know. For now, this is what it is. Let me know your thoughts! Reviews are greatly appreciated! :)

**Disclaimer: **::pushes button on tape recorder:: I do not own anything. Thank you. This is a recording.

* * *

"That's my foot!" a feminine voice hissed through the darkness.

"Find the light switch, and I wouldn't be stepping on it!" a distinctly male voice replied.

"With those abnormally large feet, you can't help but trample all over me."

This was said a little more acidicly.

"Really, Cricket, I would hardly call it trampling."

Silence, and then…

"I think I've found it…"

"I wouldn't be so sure of that."

A little shriek.

"Get away from me!"

"That's rather hard to do in a space this small."

"Well, we wouldn't be in this situation if you hadn't shut the door."

"That's hardly relevant right now."

A groan from the other side of the dark space.

"Can't you make yourself useful and help me look? I know there must be a switch here…Who would make a room without a light switch?"

Purposeful silence.

"You didn't?" she hissed.

"I might have forgotten that step," the masculine voice finally said in reply.

Another shriek followed by the sound of several painful thuds.

"And here I've been looking all this time! You told me to find it…you…you insufferable, ill mannered, insolent, dunderheaded, pathetic pain in the…not fit to wipe my boots on… miserable-"

One click and light instantly flooded the tiny space.

Alice stopped short in her insults as Reginald grinned triumphantly, one gloved hand curled around a chain linked directly to a light bulb secured to the ceiling.

"Not a light switch, but the same idea," he said with a toothy grin.

Tiny hand collided with freckled face, and Reginald was momentarily knocked back a step or two.

"Now, get me out of here!" she demanded.

"Vicious little cricket," he said, hand rubbing the fresh, red mark on his cheek.

"If you don't get me out of this closet, you'll see just how vicious I can be, Mr. Theophilius," she threatened.

"The third," he added.

Alice gave another shriek and lunged in his direction. He deftly sidestepped her, and one crash later had Alice sulking on the floor as Reginald leaned casually against the locked door.

"You know, Cricket, I believe fate is at work," he said. His voice had taken on that dreamy tone he reserved only for her. "Bringing us together…here…in this dusty, little closet."

Alice snorted and looked up at him from her spot on the floor.

"I believe stupidity is a work," she countered. "Only someone incredibly stupid would end up locked in a closet…."

Reginald raised an eyebrow as a tiny smirk begin to dance across his lips, and Alice realizing a bit too late that she had managed to also insult herself, gave a little huff and crossed her arms. Several minutes passed in silence between them before Reginald spoke again.

"We could be here all night," he began suggestively.

Alice visibly stiffened at this statement and whipped her head toward Reginald to see the devilish gleam hiding feebly behind his bright green eyes.

"Might as well to get know each other a little better…"

"Oh no, we won't!" Alice cried jumping to her feet and grabbing the nearest weapon she could find. It happened to be an old, ragged mop, but she brandished it furiously. "Don't you come one, single step closer."

"Twitchy little cricket," he cooed. "It was merely a suggestion."

"Like hell it was!" she exclaimed. "I know you did this on purpose."

He turned innocent eyes toward her, and she swung the mop in his direction barely missing the great, green top hat resting atop his fluffy, white tuft of hair.

"You meant to lock us in here," she accused. "I know you did! You're so desperate to be alone with me…"

At her last statement, he let out a little chuckle. Alice's eyes narrowed, and she swung the mop menacingly.

"You think rather highly of yourself," he stated.

"And you're more vain than Narcissus himself!" she shot back.

"People like you are the reason I'm on medication!" he countered.

"Why don't you use your head for something more than a hat rack!" she said.

"After talking to you, I know why animals eat their young!"

In one quick movement, Alice pulled his overly large hat from his head and violently threw it to the ground. Fiery green met icy blue, and without another word, both lunged for the other.

Black ribbon found itself around Reginald's neck.

White glove whizzed past Alice's head.

Dainty boot collided with locked door.

Orange coat fell to a half crumpled heap on the floor.

Mop and newly discovered broom met in an epic battle.

On the other side of the door, Belle and Ears stood with perplexed looks, staring oddly at the closet door nestled underneath the stairs of the hat maker's shop.

The End.


End file.
